What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Why does my ex boyfriend do this?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

What do flat earthers think about Antarctica?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Why does my sister want to have sex with me? What should I do?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

I see ugly guys dating gorgeous, "hot" women all the time. I, too, am not very attractive but I'm not doing well with the ladies. What's their secret?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

TEXT:

I think that being gay is wrong, but I treat gay people respectfully like any other person. Is it homophobic? Or offensive in any kind of way? Aren’t disagreement and discrimination two different things?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

It seems that I am cursed with bad luck. How do I break such a curse?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Is it socially acceptable for individuals to wear clothing typically associated with the opposite gender? What are some reasons for or against this practice?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Make Nazis afraid again!

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

How could NASA possibly land on the moon when it's impossible to reach the moon through the Earth's dome? Why are they making up such an obvious lie?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

What might be the social consequences of an ethnic as opposed to a civic conception of the nation?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Why do wives cheat with black guys?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Should parents be allowed to bring children into R-rated movies? What are the potential consequences of doing so?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.